Thursday, December 26, 2019
Roderigo Academic Journal Essay - 900 Words
It is a common misconception to say that Roderigo is an inferior character in Othell, and that he plays no major role due to his simple superobjective which he does not achieveââ¬âwhich is to be with Desdemona by whatever means necessary. However, Shakespeareââ¬â¢s purpose for Roderigo, which makes him important to the play, is quite different from what Roderigo desires. Roderigoââ¬â¢s superobjective is introduced in the first act as we see Roderigo and Iago confront Brabantio about the whereabouts of Desdemona. In the first act we also see how badly Roderigo longs to be with Desdemona when he says that ââ¬Å"I will incontinently drown myselfâ⬠(I.iii.305). We begin to see the power Iago has over Roderigo and because of this Roderigo begins to appear weakâ⬠¦show more contentâ⬠¦This is the point of no return for Roderigo. Here he declares his extreme love for Desdemona and his intent to be with her by any means necessary. The only problem is that he confesses i t to the wrong personââ¬âIago. We also see Roderigo slip to the level of Iago. Shakespeare does this by having Roderigo speak with Iago not in meter. This shift in Roderigoââ¬â¢s speech shows how desperate he is to be with Desdemona and how Iago is beginning to take control. Roderigo throughout the rest of act one and two merely operates as a puppet for Iago and does his bidding, ââ¬Å"I do follow here in the chase, not like a hound that hunts, but one that fills up the cry. My money is almost spent (II.iii.351-352). His absence in act three causes some over look his importance to Othello, however his appearance in act three would be trivial to Othello overall. This is where Shakespeareââ¬â¢s superobjective for Roderigo differs from Roderigoââ¬â¢s own wishes. Shakespeare has Roderigo be the catalyst to the falling action in act four by stabbing Cassio. It is this act by Roderigo that leads to the tragedy in act five. What is important to note is Roderigoââ¬â¢s change in attitude in act four. Here we see Roderigo acknowledge what Iago is doing to him and how Roderigo will no longer tolerate it. Roderigo I do not find that thou dealââ¬â¢st justly with me. Iago What in the contrary? Roderigo Every day thou daffââ¬â¢st me with some device, Iago,Show MoreRelatedAnalysis Of Othello By William Shakespeare1505 Words à |à 7 PagesIago treats others as the fool with no intentions of caring about their feelings. Behind his deceitful trustworthy appearance, Iago is a multilayered manipulative villain. He manipulates the people around him by using their weaknesses against them. Roderigo, Cassio, Othello, and Emilia all have fallen for Iagoââ¬â¢s tricks of manipulation and even mind control. In the beginning of the play, Iago explains how he wants to destroy Othello because he gave the position of lieutenant to Cassio. Therefore,Read MoreRacism By William Shakespeare s Othello1277 Words à |à 6 Pages136). Having an affair in the Elizabeth age is unacceptable. Being that Othello is a Moor, it bothers and worsens the situation. Othello steals Desdemona from her father, Brabantio, and makes Brabantio upset. Roderigo wants to marry Desdemona and Brabantio approves it. Brabantio says to Roderigo, ââ¬Å"O, that you had her!â⬠(I. II. 175.1296). Desdemona marrying a black Moor is unacceptable and Brabantio does not approve of it. Othello is warned by Iago of the things Brabantio will do to him. Othello is notRead MoreOthello As A Powerful General Of The Venetian Army1991 Words à |à 8 Pagesmentioned as ââ¬Å"the Moorâ⬠or other more directly racist monikers and due to his race and the racism he encounters, he eventually falls in the long run. Othello s race, which is frowned upon by other characters of Shakespeare s play, mainly Iago and Roderigo, influences his poor decision making and is Othello Research Paper: Final Draft During the Elizabethan Era, William Shakespeare ingeniously crafted one of his most White 1 White 2 significant to the play because their racist treatment towards
Wednesday, December 18, 2019
Strengths And Weaknesses Of Nursing - 1644 Words
Strengths of Nursing Theories Florence Nightingale, Martha Rogers, Dorothea Orem, Joyce Travelbee, and Jean Watson have advanced the nursing profession in the areas of practice, research, and education. These nurses have contributed to the nursing profession in that they exemplified why nursing theory and evidence-based practice is important to nursing practice, research and education. Each theorist and their theories are unique in the art and science of the nursing profession. Nightingale, Rogers, Orem, Travelbee, and Watson were five of many nursing theorists that formed the profession of modern nursing into the nursing profession of today. Because each theorist and their theories are unique, their strengths, weaknesses, and applications to practice vary. Florence Nightingaleââ¬â¢s theory was clear and easily understood. Simple, general guidelines were provided to nurses and nursing students. Three major relationships emerged: the environment to patient, nurse to environment, and nurse to patient (Alligood, 2014). Martha Rogerââ¬â¢s theory also included an environment to patient relationship. However, her theoryââ¬â¢s strength was rooted in the continuum of care, rather than an episodic illness (Alligood, 2014). Dorothea Oremââ¬â¢s theory of self-care deficit (SCDNT) has achieved a high level of acceptance by the international nursing community. Her theory language is precise and self-care deficit data can be readily categorized (Alligood, 2014). Joyce Travelbeeââ¬â¢sShow MoreRelatedStrengths And Weaknesses In Nursing943 Words à |à 4 PagesNurse leadership critically affects the healthcare environment and the way nurses fulfill their duties in the professional practice. In nursing, leaders bear a great responsibility when delivering services and care to the needy patients so that they enjoy their stay at the facility. Nurses ensure safety and promote health in patients through the optimal contribution in healthcare services and the entire field. Nurse leaders motivate colleagues to move forward towards reaching common goals, and theyRead MoreStrengths And Weaknesses Of The Nursing Field1436 Words à |à 6 PagesStrengths-Based Leadership in the Nursing Field Introduction As children, many of us were taught that we could be anything we wanted to be with enough hard work, determination and believing in ourselves. According to Rath (2007), we cannot be anything we want to be, however, we can be a lot more of who we already are. Strengths Finder 2.0 focuses on finding specific talents an individual possesses, so they can then develop them into strengths. Donald O. Clifton created a database containing 34 ofRead MoreStrengths And Weaknesses Of The Nursing Field1619 Words à |à 7 PagesStrengths-Based Leadership in the Nursing Field Introduction As children, many of us were taught that we could be anything we wanted to be with enough hard work, determination, and believing in ourselves. According to Rath (2007), we cannot be anything we want to be, however, we can be a lot more of who we already are. Strengths Finder 2.0 focuses on finding specific talents an individual possesses, so they can then develop them into strengths. Donald O. Clifton created a database containing 34Read MoreStrengths And Weaknesses Of The Nursing Field1749 Words à |à 7 PagesStrengths-Based Leadership in the Nursing Field Strengths-based leadership will be the focus of this paper. It will provide definitions, history and background of StrengtsFinder 2.0, and major concepts of strengths-based leadership. Functions in the nursing practice and how strengths-based nursing can be applied to nursing roles will be addressed as well. This paper will focus on my top three strengths, achiever, learner, and responsibility and how these specifically play into my personal life,Read MoreThe Challenging Task of Leadership in the Nursing Profession1442 Words à |à 6 PagesNursing Leadership: Leadership is generally a challenging task across various work settings including the nursing profession. Actually, being a nurse leader is challenging when examining issues and situations that are unique to the healthcare sector. The complexity of leadership in nursing is attributed to the fact that nurse leaders are not only responsible for issues that are specific to their respective department but also mandated with the task of coordinating interactions between departmentsRead MorePersonal Statement For Nursing Leadership962 Words à |à 4 PagesAdvocate and Nursing Leadership Throughout our nursing careers we have come into a situation where we needed to advocate for our patient or co-worker. It takes leadership skills, respect, and accountability to advocate in our workplace. Moreover, in order to create change one must first evaluate the issue then set goals to implement the plan. The purpose of this paper is to discuss my weaknesses and strengths to nursing, use of current leadership skills to advocate change in the workplace, andRead MoreEssay on Combining Nursing Leadership with Advocacy1349 Words à |à 6 PagesCombining Nursing Leadership with Advocacy Grand Canyon University Trends and Issues in Health Care NRS-440V June Helbig July 18, 2013 Combining Nursing Leadership with Advocacy According to Dictionary.com, a strength is the quality or state of being strong, a mental power, force, or vigor; a weakness is the lack of strength, an inadequate quality. We all have and carry our own strengths and weaknesses of qualities. As Iââ¬â¢ve learned in class this week, every nurse can be a leader. It wasRead MoreIntegrative Review : Obesity And Obesity1528 Words à |à 7 Pagesis able to better understand the strengths, weaknesses, gaps and inconsistencies within the literature. Synthesis of the Literature Many articles where found by the investigator about obesity but there was a lack of research when it come to nursing research done about this topic. The articles each pertained certain strengths and weaknesses which can be applied to nursing practice. When looking at the evidence as a whole, there were clear strengths, weaknesses, gasps and inconsistencies whichRead MoreLeadership Based On Strengths By Tom Rath1470 Words à |à 6 PagesLeadership Based on Strengths StrengthsFinder 2.0, written by Tom Rath, was a book I chose for a purpose. Rath mentions that when we live within our shortcomings/ our weaknesses, we tend to live in this world unhappy and unmotivated (Rath, 2007). In this paper, I will discuss some background and major topics presented in his book. I will describe how his topics can be useful in nursing practice, as well as my own practice. I will end this paper with a look into how his book helped me to grow inRead MoreThe Medical Field And Working As A Nurse962 Words à |à 4 Pagesdone. Fortunately, I was able to start college right out of high school and begin taking science courses, which served as pre-requisites for the nursing program. Upon completion of these courses, and graduating from a community college with an Associateââ¬â¢s degree in Nursing, I was quickly stuck in a bind, as there was a long waiting list for almost every nursing program I applied for. I knew nothing satisfied me more, then to help people and try anything possible to make them smile, even during their
Tuesday, December 10, 2019
Motivation is nothing but an energizer of behavior Essay Example For Students
Motivation is nothing but an energizer of behavior Essay Motivation is nil but an energiser of behaviour and female parent to all gestures. Motivation helps in finishing the occupation satisfactorily. It happens due to the factors like desire or demand, honor or outlooks of the person. ( Business Dictionary ) This paper fundamentally negotiations about Work Motivation which means a desire which helps motivates the individual in finishing his or her occupation. Paper consists of the theories of motive invented and discussed by assorted writers and their positions on motive. A instance survey on Dominos related to this subject had besides been mentioned which will assist us in cognizing the subject better. I have chosen this subject because now wherever we see, motive of the employees has been of the major importance in the companies which in bend will assist them increase their turnover. Motivation is now one of the of import subjects which one must understand to maintain their employees satisfied and happy. Grazier provides a utile mention indicating that the outlook of a benefit is a major ground that person would be motivated to make something. Each twenty-four hours brings with it an eternal list of determinations to be made. The procedure of doing those determinations is driven, in big portion, by the hope of a benefit or the fright of a effect. Outline1 Litreature Review2 Abraham Maslow s Theory of Needs Hierarchy:3 Clayton Alderfer s Needs Theory ( ERG ) .4 Frederick Herzberg s Hygiene-Motivation Theory.5 D. McClelland s Acquired Needs Theory.6 J. S. Adams Equity Theory.7 Victor Vroom s Expectancy Theory.8 An Empirical Case9 Analysis and Discussion10 Decision Litreature Review There are assorted theories on motive that have been discussed and invented to understand the subject better. Some of the theories are as follows: Abraham Maslow s Theory of Needs Hierarchy. Clayton Alderfer s Needs Theory ( ERG ) . Frederick Herzberg s Hygiene-Motivation Theory. D. McClelland s Acquired Needs Theory. J. S. Adams Equity Theory. Victor Vroom s Expectancy Theory. I would wish to give a brief account to few of the theories mentioned above and about the writers sentiment on them. Abraham Maslow s Theory of Needs Hierarchy: Abraham Maslow discovered this theory in the twelvemonth 1943 in his paper A Theory of Human Motivation . ( Maslow ) He was an American Psychologist who developed this theory of Needs of Hierarchy. Harmonizing to him, there are five degrees of demands that an single must carry through and every following degree will actuate him to make the other degree of satisfaction. Physiological Needs: these are the basic needs that an person would necessitate to last. So his first motivation is to carry through his demands like nutrient, vesture, shelter, instruction etc. So in order to stay satisfied, these demands must be met comparatively and repeatedly within proper interval of clip. This demand is prioritized among all the other demands mentioned below. Safety Needs: Once the basic demands are certain to be fulfilled, a adult male will look for the safety and security of his organic structure, his household, occupation, wellness etc. what he truly cares about. After is certain of his safety he might desire to travel the other degree of love and belonging demands. Love and belonging demands: After the adult male is certain of his safety, all he looks for his darling 1s around him. He would wish to be socially involved with his household, friends, relations and his colleagues excessively. Esteem Needs: Self esteem demands include his demand for self-respect, regard by others, regard for others, accomplishment, adequateness, strength, freedom, repute and all that he aims for accomplishing his 2nd highest degree of satisfaction from his occupation. Once he reaches this degree, he is about satisfied with everything he possess. Self-Actualization Needs: This is the last degree of what an person would woolgather of. Here, he aims of going the 1 he is really capable of. A individual might experience ungratified till all his capablenesss are taken into consideration. So at this point he may make everything he is genuinely capable of making. In existent life, such demands are felt by individuals with rare capablenesss and impulse of achieving this degree of demand. So harmonizing to Maslow, these are the demands which will force an person to achieve his degree of capableness in making his occupation. This theory is really practical in nature and his attack is really direct, general, easy to understand and clear-cut. But this theory does non hold any empirical way that is no practical cogent evidence and that it is non applicable everyplace. ( Banerjee ) Clayton Alderfer s Needs Theory ( ERG ) . This theory was found by Clayton Alderfer in 1969 which is a refined version of Maslow s theory of demands. This theory is categorized into three degrees i.e Existence, Relatedness and Growth. It is a refined Maslow s theory which is cut down from 5 degrees to 3 degrees. a. Being: Psychological and Safety Needs. b. Relatedness: Social and External Esteem Needs. c. Growth: Self-Actualization and Internal Esteem Needs. But unlike Maslow s theory, ERG theory says that these evels can be attained at the same time and non after one another and that the order of the penchant would be different for different people. ( NetMba ) Frederick Herzberg s Hygiene-Motivation Theory. Frederick Herzberg discovered this theory in his findings of The Work of Motivation in 1959. Harmonizing to him, there are assorted factors which cause satisfaction and dissatisfaction among the employees which motivated them or non to finish their occupation. He developed Motivation-Hygiene factors to find these factors. He called the Satisfiers-Motivators and Dissatisfiers-Hygiene factors. Factors doing Satisfaction and dissatisfaction can non be termed as the complete antonyms of one another. The antonym of satisfaction will be No satisfaction and non Dissatisfaction . Few factors that may take to Job Satisfaction can be the Incentives like Achievement. Satisfaction, Recognition, Responsibility, Growth etc.. Other factors which may take to Job Dissatisfaction can be the Hygiene Factors like Job security, working conditions, personal life etc. Few of the critics for this theory states that two factor consequence is observed because one will take recognition for satisfaction and blasted dissatisfaction on external factors and besides that occupation satisfaction does non ever connote for high degree of motive. ( Herzberg ) D. McClelland s Acquired Needs Theory. The theory of demands was conceptualized by American Pschologist David McClelland during his work of Henry Murray. This theory was stated by him in 1961. it states that person has three dominant demands: Need for Achievement, Affiliation and Power. a. Need for Accomplishment: This can be to the degree to which the person wants the disputing undertakings on a high degree. Some features of such people are that they want to hold success, positive feedback, high hazards, work with high winners, work entirely, etc. They are the best leaders but demand excessively much from their employees and staff. B. Need for Affiliation: Here the people seek good dealingss with others. Some features can be like they want to be accepted or liked by others, high degree of trust and common apprehension, co-operation etc. These people undermine the determination devising and nonsubjective capableness of directors. c. Need for Power: Such people are the Heads, who like to be incharged of everything. Such people enjoy competition, position oriented, act uponing others, leaders etc. They do non posses flexibleness accomplishments and are non much people oriented. Unlike Maslow, McClelland did non give any passage phases, they can be prioritized harmonizing to the persons demands. Need for Achievement and Power are for the typical center and top directors. ( McClelland ) J. S. Adams Equity Theory. This theory was developed by John Stacey Adams in 1963. This theory says that there should be a balance between employees inputs end products. An employee can be de-motivated if there is no balance between them. Input signals like their attempt, trueness, difficult work, committedness, ability, adaptability, tolerance, flexibleness, accomplishments. End products like their wage, benefit, acknowledgment, repute, duty, sense of accomplishment, sense of promotion, occupation security, congratulations. Employees tend to compare themselves with others whose inputs are on similar base to cognize whether they are being treated reasonably. But it is non practically possible to handle everybody in the same manner in respect to their end products. It is non even possible for anyone to mensurate the inputs and the end products and give a just determination. In order to actuate the employees, a just determination has to be given to the employees to better their public presentation. In order to make so, the directors must understand the employees better attempt and give them the best possible out come harmonizing to what they expect. The equity theory besides says that if the employees are to be motivated so it is clip for the directors to seek and supply the employees with wagess that are really much equal to their inputs every bit far as possible. ( Articles Base ) Victor Vroom s Expectancy Theory. Victor Vroom came up with this theory in the twelvemonth 1964. The theory holds a positive correlativity between attempts and public presentation. If favourable public presentation consequences in a desirable wages, A the wages satisfies an of import demand, and the desire to fulfill the demand remains strong plenty to drive public presentation ( Nayab ) . Persons may hold different set of ends but they are motivated if their beliefs are: Comparison to Clarissa Dalloway and Septimus warre EssaySing Frederick Herzberg s Hygiene-Motivation Theory, ennui is one of the hygiene factors who act as the major dissatifier. If the employee is non interested and is bored of making the same occupation once more, he will non bask his work. This can move as a de-motivator and do the employees quit their occupation. For this job, D. McClelland s Acquired Needs Theory says that if the undertakings are non ambitious and are really simple to cover with, there is no sense for Need for Achievement. There are persons who set ends for themselves and look for the consequences in them ; they are high hazard takers etc. So if they do non acquire a opportunity to show their capablenesss, they get de-motivated. The behaviour of persons with a high demand of Achievement is explained by the fact that they talk a batch about ways to better things. Once they start believing in footings of achievement , they will get down moving consequently ( Manea ) . This job arises due to the simple and sometimes insistent nature of working in the fast nutrient industry. To increase the skill assortment for employees, the shop director can implement a occupation enrichment strategy that is designed to change by reversal the effects of undertakings that are insistent necessitating small liberty ( Fourman and Jones ) . This will assist the employees in maintaining involvement in their work and can avoid ennui. 3. Lack of Employee Initiative: This job arises when there is really small range for the employees to turn from one degree to another. In Dominos this job is really common due to the simple and generic work assigned to them. No disputing occupations are available for the pizza shapers and the bringing boys except for cookery and delivering, which has the least hazard and no growing chances. As per Clayton Alderfer s Needs Theory ( ERG ) , growing is one of the of import factors for work motive. If there is traveling to be no growing and the work is traveling to be stabilized all long, none of the employees would desire to work at that place. Everybody has an purpose and would desire to accomplish those. Besides as per Abraham Maslow s Theory of Needs Hierarchy, one will non able to accomplish his regard demands boulder clay there is any growing or initiative taken to accomplish them. If one do non hold a opportunity to accomplish his demands, he will non be motivated to make his occupation. Till there is no factor to actuate the employees, the work done will non be 100 % . It will overall impact the result of the company. Besides there will be deficiency of employee enterprise if there is no proper communicating between the director and the employees. Even if there is no sense of belongingness amongst each other and are non able to assist eachother, this job may originate. So the 3rd degree of demand that is love/belonging demand is besides non fulfilled. Till the employees feel that they are the existent portion of the company, they will non make the occupation expeditiously. So it is really necessary for the directors to take attention of this job. Therefore, the presence of liberty in the work force can take to the psychological province of felt duty for results, ensuing in high occupation satisfaction ( Morgensen and Campion ) . This job can besides be rectified by giving a regular feedback to the employees sing their work. This will assist them to rectify their errors in the work they do through the feedback and can work on it. 4. Importance to the undertaking and non the employees: When the employees feel that the work they are making is non appreciated, they are non much bothered about what they are making. As in Dominos, the most of import facet is to present the pizza in 30 proceedingss. This creates a batch of force per unit area and emphasis on the employees. They may non be able to make their work expeditiously due to peer force per unit area. As per Frederick Herzberg s Hygiene-Motivation Theory, emphasis and force per unit area on to the employees acts as a dissatisfier that is a hygiene factor. A work can non be done expeditiously if it s done under force per unit area. One must hold all his infinite and clip to acquire his work done. Employees are made to work in 100 degree Celsius in the kitchen which is so harmful. Therefore no good working status is provided to work in. For this job, emphasis let go ofing coders should be conducted, a proper safety instruments should be provided to work in the kitchen, a small high wage is to be paid to the workers to work under force per unit area, etc. such motivative factors as per the theory should be applied to actuate the employees and acquire the work done. 5. Deaths due to over force per unit area: As mentioned above that there were a batch of deceases taking topographic point due to the accidents of the bringing male child in order to present the pizza on clip. This led to the highest employee turnover rate. Harmonizing to Abraham Maslow s Theory of Needs Hierarchy, safety and security is the 2nd most of import demand to be fulfilled for an employee. In 1989 for Dominos, it had faced highest employee turnover because there was no security for the life of the employees. They had suffered a major loss because there were non many employees ready to work and the orders were much more than that. Dominos had a major rejoinder in 1990 s. Its Chief Executive insisted on keeping Domino s original construct of a simple bill of fare that speeds order readying, leting the company to continue its 30-minute warrant. In an attempt to be flexible and to vie with Pizza Hut s pan pizza Domino s offered a new pizza with more cheese and an increased figure of toppings ( Funding Universe ) . This happened merely after the Executive came up with the good panel of Top Executives. Therefore Dominos once more took a lead in the pizza industry. It happened after the new panel of the executives were brought in. so it is really necessary to maintain the employees updated and maintain delivery alteration and challenges which will assist the employees in cognizing their ain capablenesss. These were some of the jobs that Dominos had to confront due to low Work Motivation among the employees. These jobs can be solved by taking into consideration the assorted theories on motive as mentioned above. Decision This survey has brought about a broader position of motive and its importance in the organisation. Now-a-days all the organisations have started giving equal importance to the employees as to the turnover of the company, because employees are the biggest assets of the company and they ca nt afford to lose them. This survey has besides helped us cognizing and understanding Work Motivation in item. To execute the undertaking really expeditiously, it is really necessary to actuate the employees in such a mode that even they are satisfied with work and the result is besides the best. Employees must happen their occupation of import and should bask making it. The perceptual experience of the employees in respects to the mission and their desire to supply meaningful part are two factors that show the grade of importance of employees place on their occupations. Dissatisfied employees can take to a lessening in motive and this can be counter-productive. This can be rectified by supplying regular feedback on employee public presentation ( Johnston ) . All the theories carry on their single importance. All have their alone ideas of construing the human behaviour and how they are motivated or de-motivated. Most of the jobs stand every bit of import to all the theories mentioned. Thus the theories are really of import to be understood to cover with employees in any organisation. Maslow had described work motive in different set of degrees which are to be achieved one after another, whereas Alderfer s theory argued and refined Maslow s theory into three phases which can be achieved at the same time. Herzberg s motivation-hygiene theory shows two different parts as satisfiers and dissatisfiers which would actuate or de-motivate the employees. McClelland s Acquired needs theory says that a individual can be motivated depending on the type of demand he has, whether it is need for Achievement, Affiliation or Power. Adams s Equity theory negotiations about motive that a individual can merely be motivated if he gets the perfect result for his inputs. Vroom s theory says that motive is a co-relation between attempts and public presentation. This shows that all the writers have their alone position of looking at the motive and all carries equal importance. If Customers are God, Employees must be treated every bit because they are the one to make to the clients.
Monday, December 2, 2019
Missing in Action free essay sample
Fathers Name? Fathers Occupation? Fathers Address? What am I supposed to write? These questions are on every one of my college applications. Maybe I dont really have to answer them. I move on to other questions and hit another tough one. Are your parents divorced, married,single? I check divorced. What is the date of their divorce? I have no idea. Hey, Mom! I shout. When did you get your divorce? November 1982, she replies after a pause. One year after I was born. Let me show you something, she says. I dont wanna see anything, I shout back. Just come and look at this. I walk into her room; the hope chest is open and I smell mothballs. When its open shes walking down memory lane. She thrusts a paper in my face. This is what I got in the divorce. The hope chest is on the list. We will write a custom essay sample on Missing in Action or any similar topic specifically for you Do Not WasteYour Time HIRE WRITER Only 13.90 / page Thats great. I dont care! I say and walk out. I dont care about the stuff, but I do care that Ive never met my father. These college applications must be getting to me. Most seniors filling them out arent pondering their fathers name and address. Theyre worrying about the essays while Im stumped by simple questions. I pick up the Profile Application. I need to apply for financial aid, just like everyone else, but I need it badly. My father never paid child support and my mother has worked hard to support me. But hard work only goes so far and definitely doesnt come to $30,000 a year. Im bitter about that. I should have money coming to me; it would ease a lot of worry. But Id rather be in debt than take his money. I probably will be in debt for the rest of my life. I dont really want to meet him.Part of me does, but I could never love him the way I love my grandfather, my father figure. Seeing my father would just make me remember all the times my mother has cried. My life has been filled with talk about him. His supposedly unmentionable name is mentioned everyday. There is always a comparison between him and me, especially if Im fighting with my mother. Oh, you are just like him, shell say. He did the same thing. Its not like I can help it. I do have 23 genes from him! Every time his name is mentioned, my grandfather gets angry and shouts, I never want to hear that name in my house. I dont blame him. My grandfather really loved him. He took him to baseball games, bought him presents and treated him like the son he never had. And my father betrayed him. Thinking about that Id like to spit in his face. Id love to kick him for all the nights he has made my mother cry. Id love to hurt him because Ive never had a father. He left my mother just after she had me, at Christmas, and he didnt care. He picked up his life and moved, supposedly. Everything is supposedly because all I have are stories.When we looked him up on the Internet once, we found his email and home address, far from where we live. Ive never tried to reach him. My fathers father died a few years ago. My name wasnt listed in the obituary as one of his 11 grandchildren.Supposedly, his wife (my other grandmother) was a beautiful woman, a really good housekeeper, who brought up five children. But not well enough, as far as Im concerned. My mother did the best any single parent could do. I turned out better than okay for someone without a father. Its not really a big deal; I know a lot of people dont have fathers. Im just glad I had my grandparents, who really love me. Ive had everything I ever wanted and am probably spoiled, though definitely not a brat. I hear I have my fathers love for computer games and music. Apparently he was a good musician and could play many instruments and sing. I wish I could have heard him. I hate his pictures, though. He doesnt look like a kind man. There is one picture in my house of my parents together. I wish someone would take it down.It doesnt belong here. He doesnt deserve to be in my house, or my life. Ill take it down one day. But somewhere deep down I want to meet him. I wonder if he ever thinks about me?
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